happy then sad then happy again...yipee!
19:58:45 - 2000-12-19
so, i'm hoping for no school tomorrow. hope with me, a'ight?
i went to the mall with mom tonight but i didn't buy anything. i know exactly what to get for my secret santa person, but it is going to be a pain to find the stuff. i'm drinking a dunkaccino. i'm undecided as to whether i like it. i guess i'm just not a big coffee fan.
i gotta do some poetry-writing.
my dad sucks. really. he won't shut up about selling his company and getting lots of money for it. he told jason in e-mail. no wonder j doesn't want to work...he doesn't think he has to. and he's right, because he's dad's fave kid and dad'll give him whatever he wants. it's sickening. i'm kind of jealous but not because of the money stuff...just sorta wish dad thought as highly of me as he does jason. i don't even know why i care, cuz dad bugs me so much. there must be more to it than the mere fact that he's my dad. i'll figure it out by the time i'm 40, right? yeah. probably. mom says she's going to leave dad if he sells the company and gives a whole bunch of money to jason right away. she is very angry about the whole situation. she didn't want dad to tell jason because she knew that jason would think that work was unncessary, and would probably give up his shot at a career because of his financial comfort. she isn't worried about me, cuz she knows i'm not like jason. he's just one of these people who thinks that his parents owe him material things...and lots of them. his intentions aren't bad, of course. he just...doesn't understand. i don't know. i bother my friends about this all the time. (sorry, guys!!!) i just haven't made my peace with it. i'll keep trying. but first, i'm going to have to voice all of these thoughts. someday. it's the only way i'll be ok with it all.
i read a really sad article earlier, about a local woman who went into her sister's house after she'd been murdered by her husband, and found a bunch of lined paper in the jewelry boxes. her sister had written letters to God, telling Him that she didn't know why she stayed with him (husband) after all the things he did to her. but she'd made her peace with God before her husband finally shot her and then killed himself. i started crying and couldn't finish the article. that hasn't happened to me in a long time. not everyone is civilized. i hate being reminded of that over and over again.
what a sad entry this has become. happy things...i'm excited for the christmas party. it's lookin' to be a really great time! and if the party needs to be delayed until tuesday, i'm gonna be seeing dracula 2000! and megan, i am going to go again so you can see it...assuming it's good (which i believe it will be:o).
jason comes back on saturday! i'm so happy(c: wow, impressive...i cheered myself up. i RULE!