oh, darling, it's been ages
11:29 a.m. - 2005-05-16
so...
it's starting to seem like erika doesn't want to hang out with ben and i very much anymore. ben's theory is that she's still like a teenager even though she's 21, because she's still living with her folks and all of her other friends are younger than she is. and i realize that ben and i don't get high or drink but it's just sort of disappointing that we seem to lose "cool points" or what have you by not doing those things. i do drink sometimes but never to get drunk, and my view on that sort of thing is that if you're not enjoying life when you're sober then you must be doing something wrong. if other people want to do those things, fine, it's up to them and none of my business...to each his own, you know? but i hate this feeling...like i'm not interesting enough to be around. but hey, i guess maybe that just means we've gotta work harder to show her that there's a lot we can offer that her other friends can't.
and i do have some good news. i received a fifty-cent raise on friday, out of the blue. jo ellen says she's going to keep at it to get more for me, too. she rules. and i had yesterday off, today off, and wednesday off. pretty nice for a girl who'd been working the past 11 days or so.
i made an awesome 3-in-1 bead necklace the other day. it looks great and i'm so stoked that i was able to do it. i didn't have much faith in my knots before but they're holding strong. i rule.
cesar drove over the other night and we had a long talk, which was nice because usually we only get to talk at work and we're constantly being interrupted by coworkers. but anyway, it went well. it was nice to hear him tell me how much he misses me. and how he asked if it makes me jealous to know that he's been casually seeing someone. i said yes, of course it does. that made him feel better. he confessed that he gets jealous of ben. so we just have to keep it all in check and we'll be fine. i hate jealousy. it's the most annoying feeling, seriously. i don't feel too jealous at the thought of ben seeing another girl because i know how deep my relationship is with him. we can't be without each other and that's all there is to it. with cesar i don't have that confidence because it's more me wanting to be close to him than actually being close to him. but that'll change in time. i'll give him a call today since i'm off and he pretty much makes his own hours with his car-selling business. but for now, it's time to brush the teeths and go do the laundries. huzzah!