the worst and best night ever, in that order
9:45 a.m. - 2005-02-05
oh my word, has a lot happened since my last entry!
thursday night i broke up with my ben because i feel like i need my freedom. it was horrible. we cried and cried and tried to talk but it didn't go well. so i packed some things and walked to a motel room. then, after a long phone conversation with my awesome brother (who suggested that if i wanted to call ben, then i should just do it), i called ben and asked him to come see me. so he raced over with a kitkat bar and a hershey bar, explaining that he knows women like chocolate when they're upset.
we just sat on the bed for a long time, talking about how we felt, and i explained that i didn't want to leave him but i felt like i had to because i need the freedom to see other people. and then to my surprise, he said that he never stopped being interested in seeing other women. so i suggested, freaky as it may sound, that we stay together and live together, but date other people. and he expressed interest in that. so i guess we're going to give it a try. wish us luck, folks! we're in control...we decide if this starts to feel weird or not, so i think as long as we communicate, this could turn out to be the best situation ever. i'm excited! and i love my benji. love love love, i love love!
lpn