nothing goes smoothly when emotions are involved, does it?
06:30:22 - 1999-12-30
you know, i stressed myself out last night to the limit and maybe even past, because i wanted everything to go smoothly and dind't want gs and dp to be ditched. but you know what? they ditched US. they ditched ME. yeah, that's right, my close guy friend and my huge crush right now (who's also my friend), ditched me. what do we all think of this? it's wasted emotion, that's what it is. plans got screwed up and i tried to fix it so that we could all still hang out. but they ended up going to a diff. movie. just walked past me, kinda laughing. this was very stupid. obviously if you invite someone somewhere, you want to hang out with them. the place where you hang out doesn't matter. the fact is, you want to hang out with them, and if they are going to accept the invitation, they should want the same. gs at least came into our movie and was apologizing to me and everything. i said i didn't care- that it was fine. i'm not mad at either of them. i'm a little hurt, tho. okay...a lot hurt. gs didn't know that i like dp. and dp doesn't know either. all i can hope is that if he had known the way i feel, he wouldn't have still ditched me. but maybe he would have. one thing's for certain, i'm not going to waste my concern on them. i'll just say SCREW THEM next time, if there evem IS a next time. i'll just go to a diff theater and say, well gee, they won't care- they prbably didn't want to go with us anyway. the movie sucked, but it was nice seeing everyone. i'm not going to hang out with guys anymore this week i think. i am just going to hang with my girls, because i know they would never have done to me last night what the guys did.