"perhaps booze would alleviate this situation"
4:01 p.m. - 2005-07-08
things are so weird back home. mom and dad, separated, soon-to-be divorced. it's what i wanted for them, of course. mom's got her own place. dad's still at 10 birch lane, now fixing up the place, my godfather (whom i barely know) living in my room because he himself is in the process of getting a divorce...and apparently my dad's new girlfriend is at the house quite often. girlfriend? what? what the fuck, dude, it's been like one or two months. jason flew home from NC because his friend's getting married tomorrow. there's a framed photo of diane and dad together on the mantle in the family room, her shoes by the door, the rooms completely rearranged. every room is different. jason's bedroom apparently is just as different, with no reminders of him but for a couple of photos, one of him as a baby and another of him at graduation.
jason also said that diane leave notes for him like, "call me so we can get together for lunch" and stuff like that.
i'm almost certain that dad and diane have been seeing each other for quite some time. i'm all mixed up about that. especially since i've known her for so long. she was always just this awesome lady my dad knew from his business-running days, when she ran the local temp agency and would send new employees his way. and later, she was the awesome real estate lady who gave me part-time work typing up labels, organizing her client folders and things. always liked her a ton. but i'd talk to her about personal things, and even rant about dad sometimes when he and i were having rough times. she was always there and i never thought anything of it.
mom's heart is broken all over again because she sees how quickly she's been replaced, after nearly forty years of faithful marriage on her part. people never fail to amaze me...even me own family members.
i don't know how i'll be able to sleep in that house. i won't even be in my room, i guess i'll be in jason's. it's going to be so weird. and i'm sure diane will be around a ton, acting like we're best friends, when the truth is i feel like i've been completely deceived by her. i think i'd rather just stay with mum at her new place.
it's funny (in a not-funny kind of way) that i'm so upset about the house. before mum and dad has split and the issue of selling the house came up, i was all, "it's just a house. just wood and nails and glass. the memories are the only important thing." but now i'm seeing that, in some ways, my memories and the house are the same thing. it may just be wood and nails and glass, but virtually my whole life was spent inside it. bluagh, this is so screwy. but hey, i've got a couple more weeks to adjust emotionally before i actually have to be there, dealing with it.
okie dokie, enough of this drama. toodles!
lpn