merry effin' christmas, hehe
8:23 p.m. - 2005-12-12
so...i think i may just start dating women, in the hopes that they'll be less likely to break my heart. yeah? yeah.
i'm still trying to get over the news i received on saturday night when esmeralda told me that on wednesday night, cesar had been asking her over and over and OVER again to go to the movies with him after work. she said no and then, "why don't you call allison?" and he went off on this thing about how i'm crazy, being all nice one day and then hanging up on him over the phone after yelling "fuck you!"
i love how he totally made me out to be some complete spaz, like i'm bipolar or something and he's a poor little puppy who always gets hurt. give me a break. fortunately, this was esme we're talking about and she's onto him and totally blew him off and defended me in my absence.
i felt so awful that night after she told me, though. and more than that, she said, "i didn't want to tell you this because i knew how crazy about him you were, but um...he's been asking me to go out with him since i started working here." folks, that was over a year ago. i felt so fricken shitty about myself that night. i was certainly glad that she told me, but god...i just...didn't realize how insignificant i always was to him. and i feel like such an ass, because there i was, trying to form a real relationship with him and he was asking out my coworker/friend behind my back. only esme? somehow i don't think so. after all, karolina's pretty hot. fabiola's cute, too. and what about the countless women who must give him their numbers at the bar when he's working because he's so suave?
i've never been so angry at anybody in my life. no joke. i would gladly punch him in the face/stomach/balls if i thought he'd just take it and that my hands wouldn't hurt afterward. he really is the cliched male that women hate with the fire of a thousand suns.
in happy news, rachel's gonna come visit in january! ben and i are totally stoked. of course, she was *supposed* to come out here last year but a certain poopy boyfriend of hers whose name ends in "ick" (quite fitting, actually) guilted her into not doing so. but we just sent some money to her so she can buy the plane ticket and not worry too much, bank account-wise, anyway.
in other news, i worry about erika. my girl's got all these fantastic plans in her head but she just doesn't know how to get stuff done in order to get those plans in the making. i'm trying to help her, but she really has been quite spoiled all her life and, as ben put it, she seems to be waiting and waiting, expecting things to just fall into place all on their own. anyhoo.
christmas is coming up, yay! we've got christmas lights strung up. pr-e-t-t-y!