happy-go-lucky...cuties...daydreams oooo
08:27:37 - 1999-12-18
it's saturday and yeah i'm sick but i am, thrilled. you know that guy i've been so upset about?? i'm getting over him finally. do you even understand how miraculous this is?!?! this is one of the best things ever to happen to me!!! so i am sick today but i'm in great, GREAT spirits
i do kinda feel weird because i've started to like somebody else. and it's not like it was just instantaneous after i started getting over the first guy...it was happening at the same time. well if you understand this then...wonderful! lovely lovely lovely, like the sky today!it's a bright blue! you know what;s strange? i just thought of this...we associate blue with happiness, right? like the sky and moodrings and all that good shtuff...but when it comes to love songs, it's "i'm so blue" and blah blah blah. to hell with sadness! i'm on wings today!!! ahhhhhhhhhhh(c:
i don't know if i'ma get my hopes up again because obviously, that is not the smart thing to do when it comes to me...being oversensitive and overly emotional and blah blah blah. in general, being a crybaby hehehe. that's okay though, you know? cuz afterwards i feel cleansed and if i have been crying one night, then the next morning, i can't shed a tear. i don't understand it but it's gotta be a good thing cuz hey, who wants to cry at school? nobody. i remember in 7th grade, some girl i was kinda friends with said she was leaving and i pretended to be upset and shit but really i didn't care because a) i wasn't close to her and b) she was pretty bitchy anyway, so who needed her? i'd felt bad about not having real tears to cry so i just said something lame like, "it'll hit me tomorrow..." and then a minute later saying (lying), "shit, here they come..." (referring to the tears).
i am so silly. i used to be anyways, so does that mean i still am? well...come to think of it, i am very silly 24/7 unless i'm really sad. my friends will vouch for that one. i...well, i don't think i'm like anyone i know. i'm very random and goofy. but i like that, ya know? sets me apart from everyone else and usually it's a pretty nice quality trait because i make other people smile. awww the other day i saw the galardi kids and they were soooo adorable. isabella, who's 5 i think, was in laughing hysterically on the way to freeport, and it reminded me of myself. she was having a ball in the backseat, laughing like crazy, then cracking up again because she thought the sound of her laugh was funny...oh my god she's so cute! and erik, he's adorable too. if you could see the facial expressions that kid makes. (he's 4:o). john warren is a cool kid too, he's 7 now i think. he can be pretty quiet sometimes. i have a feeling he'sa turn out like his daddy- genius man.
well you all know what's strange? i love kids to bitzes but i don't want any of my own. i wanna live life selfishly. romance is cool though(c; gotta have that kinda love. see there's a lotta pain and stress and time that goes into the blessing of children. i want a nice career. and i know for certain that my older brother jason is going to have at least two children. knowing that i get to be the fun, spoiling aunt sounds like fun! i definitely think i could enjoy life as an aunt.
well well well i suppose i will just go and daydream a little more. it's pretty fun. and i know ALL of you do it too so don't even THINK about looking down upon me. haha j/k i know you're all cool and wouldn't do dat. k i'ma go start ANOTHER diary entry. the next one will be about the dream i had last night. ooo it was spooky. i'm always being chased by somebody. all right now...go read it when it's ready! bu-byeeee! (c: